Redhead Speaks

A Little Lovin'

2008-02-06T19:36:00.000-08:00

No matter what your politics, we can all enjoy a little YouTube lovin' from will.i.am:

PS- For another reminder that the 1950s were not the apex of American culture, check out this quick Cadillac comparison over at mnp: YouTube video clash

Greatest generation my ass- give us another Hitler and we'll attack Iran so fast your head will spin.

Welcome to the Republican Mind

2008-01-16T19:28:00.000-08:00

Described as "A father teaches his liberal, Democrat, college student daughter why she is really a Republican," this little gem caught my eye a while ago, but I had forgotten about it until recently. Featured on an Oregon Republican Party county page, I've also seen it posted various places around the internet.

I would love to see someone do an analysis of this. The paternalistic themes are overpowering, as well as the innate hatred of intellectualism and logic.

Enough babble, just dig:

"Welcome to the Republican Party"

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and supported the distribution of all wealth. She felt deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican which she expressed openly.

One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to higher taxes on the rich & the addition of more government welfare programs. Based on the lectures that she had participated in and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that for years her father had obviously harbored an evil, even selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father.

He stopped her and asked her, point blank, how she was doing in school. She answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain. She studied all the time and never had time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying because of her more difficult curriculum.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your good friend Mary doing?"

"Mary is barely getting by," she replied. "She barely has a 2.0 GPA, and all she takes are easy classes and she never studies. But Mary is extremely popular on campus. College, for her, is a blast. She goes to all the parties all the time and very often doesn't even show up for classes because she is too hung over."

Her father then asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your 4.0 GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0? That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I worked really hard for mine and Mary has done little or nothing! She played while I worked real hard!"

The father slowly smiled, winked and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Funk NBC

2008-01-08T20:22:00.000-08:00

NBC may have taken down "Iran So Far Away" due to it being, um, popular, and thus bad for SNL's image, but a few intrepid pirates are still sailing the internet, uh, tubes.

Enjoy Mahmoud's silly brown eyes and butter pecan thighs.

Live from New York, It's Barack Obama!

2007-11-04T16:58:00.001-08:00

Obama makes a cameo to introduce SNL. Sweet!

Better Together

2007-10-24T15:24:00.000-07:00

While normally an insufferably pompous jackass, Thomas Friedman has written a nice little piece about the importance of working together to change our leaders like some burnt-out light bulbs.

As Friedman points out, your hybrid car don't mean shit if you vote for politicians who believe that having a 70 degree day in summer proves that global warming is a farce.

Republicans have proven exceedingly good at picking up small constituencies of libertarian anti-environmentalists, Rush Limbaugh devotees, and violent anti-choicers and managing to roll them into a ball of voters large enough to defeat regular folks. Needless to say, the politicians elected by this mass of generally anti-social, I-got-mine people are hardly progressive, let alone common-sense types of leaders.

So in this case Friedman is right: we are better together than apart. We mustn't fall into the marketing trap that tries to convince us that our purchases can substitute for real organizing and activism.

Dumbledore's Sexuality Revealed!

2007-10-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I thought that I had seen the end of Harry Potter news. Nope!

From that esteemed bastion of world news, the BBC: "JK Rowling outs Dumbledore as gay:

Harry Potter author JK Rowling has revealed that one of her characters, Hogwarts school headmaster Albus Dumbledore, is gay."

Somewhere in Wichita, a schoolmarm's head just exploded.

Militant Christian loonies have long been Potter-bashing due to its blatant promotion of witchcraft and wizardry, in addition to causing millions of adults to read 700-page children's fantasy novels instead of participating in society.

PS- A recent gem I stumbled upon from a Republican "Values" Conference:

Braaaaains!

2007-10-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

As if America wasn't already at risk of all types of nasty infections from Topps burgers, we now have to worry about having our BRAINS EATEN.

Jesus Christ Almighty, as if there weren't enough people reading US Weekly already...

Russians Have "Conception Day," Bush Gets Ideas

2007-09-30T15:51:00.000-07:00

The birthplace of Vladimir Lenin has declared September 12th to be "Conception Day." In order to battle falling birthrates, emigration, and high death rates, Russians have turned to novel solutions, including giving employees time off to have sex and offering financial incentives and prizes to women who give birth nine months after the holiday.

The babies born nine months after the holiday are brought into the world to the Russian National Anthem, a rousing bit of patriarchal nationalism.

With Bush and Putin's more-than-friendly relationship, how long can it be before Bush starts targeting select US towns for birth incentives? Darwin would have predicted the self-selecting demise of the Republican species, but if economics are brought into play, natural selection may not work for us this time.

Timbers Hit Playoffs; Earthquake Hits Portland

2007-09-24T18:55:00.000-07:00

A record crowd of nearly 12,000 beer-swilling Portlanders almost overwhelmed PGE Park last night, with the Timbers Army forming the vanguard.

Timber Jim was in fine form, rappelling upside-down from the rafters and rousing support with his mighty drum and chainsaw.

Unfortunately, the Timbers ultimately faced defeat 3-1 in a shootout following two Portland-dominated overtime extensions.

Nonetheless, the Timbers went out in fine form, their triumphant defeat in the playoffs marked by a massive earthquake felt for miles around.

Shock Doctrine

2007-09-08T17:30:00.000-07:00

Pretty intense short film by the director of Children of Men:

Oprah Throws Down

2007-09-08T16:03:00.000-07:00

Oprah has now officially joined up with the Obama campaign. This is the first time Oprah has lent her power to a politician- she is single-handedly expected to raise millions and possibly turn out voters. If her ability to make books bestsellers overnight translates into votes, she could become one of the most powerful people in politics today.

Game Over, Man, Game Over!

2007-08-30T11:49:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: There is now video of this monstrosity!

"Scientists" are claiming that this 200-yard long web in Texas is due to many spiders spinning together.

"Spider experts say the web may have been constructed by social cobweb spiders, which work together, or could be the result of a mass dispersal in which the arachnids spin webs to spread out from one another."

Bullllllshit! This is clearly the first sign of a new breed of gigantic super-spider. Either that, or someone's about to get cocooned like in Aliens.

My personal theory? It's this thing:

That's a Shame

2007-08-29T13:56:00.000-07:00

Chimp & Chump

2007-08-29T10:58:00.000-07:00

Somehow this fool is still invited back to New Orleans after presiding over what was potentially the worst preventable disaster in US history, then complimenting the chump who sat idly by while people died.

Interestingly enough, W's visit to the South coincided with a total lunar eclipse. For you amateur astronomers out there, George Bush's shadow is expected to pass from the Earth's face sometime in the fall of '08.

P.S.- If you were wondering, George Bush still doesn't care about black people:

Fuckin' AFSCME

2007-08-28T14:11:00.000-07:00

Hey! On your way to work tomorrow, instead of sitting around with your finger up your ass, look around. . .

Ignite the People Like Obama

2007-08-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

Barack Obama continues to be the most inspiring and refreshing candidate of the '08 hopefuls. Not only can he stir a crowd, but his focus on the grassroots at a national level is unwavering. Of all the major candidates websites (both parties), Obama is the only one with a direct button link to a voter registration site. The more people who participate, the stronger and more progressive candidates we can elect.

The way you run for office is inextricably linked to how you govern- if your base of support is the people, you do not have to bow to special interests.

"The reason I think people are participating like never before in this campaign is that people want to be for something, not just against something," Obama said.

Obama even gets a shout-out from Common on his latest video (about 2.5 minutes in for you lazy bastards whose attention spans have been decimated by TV).

Two Words

2007-08-26T11:04:00.000-07:00

"Chi-town raised me crazy." Chicago has finally been getting its dues paid the past few years with the rise of Common, Kanye, and Twista to the national stage. The soul home of the blues, final destination of the underground railroad and the Great Migration, and stomping grounds of bootleggers, Chicago has been the source of inspiration for artists, chefs, musicians, and activists since Du Sable founding Chicago in the 1770s.

By the way, Du Sable was the son of a slave and a French pirate, and later joined an Indian tribe- what you got, East Coast?

Jackie+Jet=100 years old

2007-08-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

Jet Li has declared that he and Jackie Chan are getting "too old to fight." A truly sad day for kung fu fans of movies like this:

But never fear! Li and Chan aging out of action has allowed for some open space in the market for new blood. If you haven't seen Tony Jaa in anything yet, just take a look at this:

'ealthy Kids

2007-08-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

Big Tobacco eats it ('nuf said):

This Is How We Do It

2007-08-09T00:10:00.000-07:00

Oregon Smash!

Oregon continues to move ahead of the pack by blowing up the Marmot Dam and, in typical hippie fashion, recycling the concrete into roads. This is the largest dam removal in Oregon history, and more dams are slated for removal soon.

Many dams no longer fulfill their original functions, providing such little electricity or irrigation as to be irrelevant. This couples with the dams reaching the end of their life cycle, leaving utilities with two choices: spend tens of millions every few decades to reinforce useless dams, or spend the money once to remove the dams and restore rivers to their pristine, fish-filled glory.

You decide.

I Want One

2007-07-11T07:59:00.000-07:00

This man is my new personal hero. 105 Balloons + 1 Lawn Chair + 1 Madman at 11,000 feet= Incredible.

Mayor "Mixmaster" Mike Throws Down

2007-07-05T12:51:00.000-07:00

NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg is blazing ahead with his support for congestion pricing in lower Manhattan. Charging drivers to enter Manhattan during peak traffic hours has long been a touchy political subject, but has proven to be a successful progressive solution to gridlock and pollution in comparable places like London.

Revenues from the usage fees would be channeled into public transit improvements, which would make it easier for everyone to do without their cars. Hopefully the New York legislature will rally behind the Mayor on this one soon, so that New York can continue to move on progressive issues.

Da....Bears

2007-06-16T23:34:00.000-07:00

Let's just say that the winner will be a certain team, from a certain Midwestern town, that starts with a "C," ends with an "O" and in the middle is "hicag."

Amen, Brothers, Amen.

Have Gun, Will Study

2007-06-15T16:03:00.000-07:00

Perusing Facebook today, I took a foray down a weird and wild path into the Realm of the Republicans. On the Oregon Federation of College Republicans' page (motto:"We share common Republican values, endure crazy liberal professors on a day to day basis, support our president, and know how to have fun!"), I was amused to see that one of their related groups is "I'd feel safer if I could bring my gun to class."

It certainly would make me more comfortable if I was in a lecture hall and saw the butt of a 9mm peeking out from the bag of the guy next to me. But hey, that's just me- I also hope that my last words will be "From my cold, dead hands."

Seals A-Plenty

2007-06-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

On my road trip down to Santa Cruz and LA, I ran into a flock (gaggle?) of elephant seals next to Highway 1. It must've been mating season because the bulls were trumpeting and smashing into each other, while the women lay about, disinterested (just like people!). Lest you think this is not an incredible sight, keep in mind that the bulls are typically 18 feet long, 5000 pounds of pure blubber, and can attain a higher speed on sand than most humans. Picture a truckload of Jello Jigglers.

In other news, if you have yet to check it out, you definitely need to watch the "I have a crush on Obama" video. If anyone knows where I can get some of them "Obama" booty shorts, let me know.